I’m no stranger to stress and sleepless nights. Both on and off the tennis court, I can get anxious about situations and let my thoughts get out of control.
Recently I embarked on a journey that took me way out of my comfort zone. On February 11, I presented my book On the Ball: Doubles Tennis Tactics for Recreational Players at a Trade Show, a one-day event that’s part of the PTR (Professional Tennis Registry) Symposium. I’d never done anything quite like this before. There were a lot of moving parts as I created and transported a trade-show exhibit to Hilton Head, SC. Aside from being nervous that something would go wrong, I worried that the show would be poorly attended, I’d feel embarrassed and that I would have gone to all the time, stress and money for little reward.
I’m learning that I can consciously choose my thoughts to create how I want to feel and the results I want to achieve, so I decided to try out a few models to help me stop obsessing about the event. (For background to the model, read my first blog: Mindset is More than Just a Trendy Word.)
The Model: Circumstance > Thoughts > Feelings > Actions > Results
Model 1:
Trade Show > “This project is way out of my comfort zone” > Dread > I’m taking action because of the deadline, but it’s emotionally draining > I’m getting behind in my other work
Model 2:
Trade Show > “This project is an adventure that’s another step in bringing my fabulous book into the world” > Determination > Make clear decisions to ensure it will all come together > Preparations are nearly completed
Model 3:
Trade Show > “I’m doing my best" > Calm > Finish all preparations, pack up what I can > Continue with my other work without worrying about the upcoming event
While the second model was an improvement on the first and helped me to get the needful done, I still felt stressed. I realized that there was a subtle pressure in my thought about “bringing my book into the world.” With the third model, I finally felt the sense of ease that I wanted. Whenever I felt that familiar anxiousness, I reminded myself, “I’m doing my best. Everything is ready.”
In the meantime, I started to practice a twice-daily mediation practice that included a visualization. I imagined how my booth would look, and the people that were around, interested and excited about the book. In this visualization I feel relaxed and happy.
So how did it go? The Trade Show and the entire PTR Symposium actually went great. I enjoyed myself tremendously, felt comfortable in the group, made new friends, and met a number of coaches who gave me positive feedback about my book. In the booth, my husband and I worked together seamlessly, even though this was a first for us. That evening, tired and happy, reflecting over the day, I realized that in fact, my visualization was fulfilled and then some.
My take-away lessons from this experience are:
The worry and stress I was experiencing from Model 1 didn’t help me in the least.
The mental model transformation and visualizations I did may have helped me get a better outcome and definitely help me enjoy it more.
Trade shows are a lot of work, no matter what. Better to have enjoyed it!