Happy New Year.
It’s time to set intentions for the New Year. Right?

The Court Life Blog will be published the second and fourth weeks of the month, alternating with my newsletter. Here I’ll share more openly about my life as an athlete, coach and author. I’ll also delve into the past, reflecting on how the 57 previously-lived years have helped to shape who I am today.

Back in 1980, I was heading home to Vancouver for Christmas, during my second year of playing Division I tennis at the University of Iowa. After our final practice of the semester, Coach pulled me aside and said: “You need to lose five pounds during Christmas break.”

I thought, “She’s not being fair, I’m not the heaviest girl on the team. This is going to be tough.” I felt angry, frustrated and a little afraid. Over the break, I went for long runs on the path along False Creek, enjoying the relatively warm Vancouver winter days.

When I arrived back at school, Coach said, “Since you didn’t lose enough weight over break, I expect you to come to practice early every day and run a mile around the indoor track.” I might have chosen to think: “What an opportunity! This is the motivation I need to get me to practice early so I can warm up my body.” Instead I thought, “I’m being unfairly punished because my coach doesn’t like me. I’ll do the running, but damn it, I won’t lose weight for her.” I also had the more difficult thought, “I’m a failure.” I felt humiliated, embarrassed, pissed off, discouraged and worthless.

That spring my singles results plummeted. The running incident wasn’t the only reason for my on-court struggles, but it certainly contributed, and I left the team for good at the end of that year. This wasn’t what I wanted, nor what Coach intended. The root of my problem was mindset.

Two years ago I started working with a life coach around the issue of weight, even though I wasn’t terribly heavy at the time. I was unhappy with how I felt and was finding it a struggle to maintain my weight in menopause. I worked with Dr Deb for four months, which proved to be transformational in many more ways than the weight and inches that eventually came off. She taught me a model which allows me to intentionally transform my mindset.

The model that underpins Dr Deb’s work isn’t new. Numerous spiritual traditions have taught us that our thoughts create our reality. However, the simplicity of this model works for me. Interestingly enough, I’ve come to understand and appreciate the model and how to manage my mind more in the past year, than when I was actively being coached.

The Model: Circumstances > Thoughts > Feelings > Actions > Results

Our results always reinforce our thoughts, so over time, we may come to believe that our thoughts are actually true. When the 2017 holiday season was approaching (circumstance), I thought: “This is the time of year when I can easily gain 10 pounds.” I might have created that result, however, this time I had another thought: “I know someone who can help me.”

I’d been listening to Dr Deb’s podcast for six months and knew I resonated with her approach. I felt hopeful, took action and scheduled an introductory call with her. The result was a plan for the holiday season and an appointment to begin working with her in January. This led to the thought that I’d be ok this season, as long as I did the homework she’d suggested. I felt encouraged and determined and so on.

With this understanding, I’m now more likely to catch thoughts that don’t support my goals and change them before they get turned into feelings, actions and results. Or I can notice poor results, figure out what’s the underlying thought that’s creating them and then reframe the thought. I’m in charge of my mindset and the results are nothing short of wonderful.

I’m rolling into the New Year feeling pretty good. I’m fit, healthy, happy and at my ideal weight. I’m blessed to be with a fantastic husband and love my work. However, what’s most important is that I’ve learned to manage my mind, and that’s what I call, “having the right mindset.”